Be Joyful Always & Reflections on Mimosa

When I went to college the year after I graduated High School I chose to go to church camp, basically. I always loved church camp in high school because it meant I got to see lots of friends and be in nature a lot, it was a good time. There were a lot of positives about it but I also didn't recognize the brainwashing that was occurring, which is just very normal for organized religion. I signed up to go to Wayland Baptist University and I met a friend there named Joann. I remember we were standing in line for lunch one day and we started discussing Thessalonians 5:16-18. She told me about how she had this epiphany that God doesn't want us to be happy. He wants us to be Joyful. Meaning that we shouldn't live our lives thinking that everything should always be a perfect church camp with a protective bubble around us where nothing can go wrong, everyone agrees with each other, etc. And not just focusing on the church camp feel , but focusing on the fact that there will be hard times in our lives , we aren't promised a perfect life of no struggle because we would never learn anything. We would never have contrast. Instead, we started using this motto Be Joyful Always !! Not meaning to ignore our struggles or our feelings , but to know that even if we are having a hard time , we can always find a Joy in any situation. Joy is different than happiness. It's not based on circumstances or situations. It's being able to look at something, realize it's hard, and move forward with joy. To find the silver lining in the situation and to know you will pribably.learn something on the other side of the pain. To know that you have a choice to smile even though your heart is breaking, or things don't seem fair. Joy is the overpowering knowing that life is essentially good , it's here for you, all is well. You will heal , you will be happy again, and though things are changing you don't have to be scared or upset. I've carried this lesson with me all my life. Fast forward to the future , I've read my Birthday Book Reading which says The Day of Recovery ...meaning people born on Jan 5th will have struggles but they will be good at bouncing back. They'll be good at being Joyful always, I suppose. True, but will they know how to regulate their emotions ? Will they learn how to teach their children not to just focus on being happy, but how to do hard things ? How to face sadness, anger , frustration etc and to learn lifelong skills to handle these emotions , not just push them away and ignore them. I am by no means an expert on how to emotionally regulate myself , much less teach my children how , but you better believe I am trying to learn. As I do inner work on myself and look to my past , I realize I did have a quote unquote good childhood in terms of "happiness" , but was I taught how to emotionally regulate ? Absolutely not. I've always felt that I was a bit neglected as a child , but if you look at my memories and photos etc. , you would say definitely not. But when it came to whether I felt safe to share what I was going through or even how I felt , I did not have any support with that. No shade to my parents , they had a lot of struggles of their own happening as well.as probably the belief that they can just buy happiness for their children a lot easier than facing hard emotions. Last night my toddlers behavior was a.bit upsetting but I tried to remember to separate his identity from his behavior. And to connect before I correct. Try to figure out why he was acting a certain way. I believe he was acting out because his dad just started a new job and hasn't been home much , so he has been missing him. So rather than tell him he missed him , he decided to say hurtful things to him , maybe because he was hurting himself. We are slowly adjusting to our new home. Moving is always hard. Especially for children! Yesterday though we baked our first Sourdough loaf and bottled our first kombucha. So things are feeling better and better each day ...Zephs grandma is reading books to him about making good choices and reminding him that he has a super power to make good choices. The words we tell our children become their inner voice. The simple truth is that children really are very good and well meaning , they just don't know how to always behave or regulate. Honestly , do any of us as adults know how ? We are all still learning ! And I think that's why we are triggered by their behavior, because secretly we are hoping our children are going to heal us. I heard this on a podcast and I thought wow that is absolutely true. What a huge pressure that is to put on our innocent little children. Even though it is a compliment to them in some ways. It's also kind of choosing to pick the easy way out, looking for healing from the outside instead of looking within. Speaking of happiness , the herb of the week I'm spotlighting is Mimosa. I had heard of other herbalist making this medicine for a Happy Tincture , and I was interested. I've never tried it! When we moved here I realized there were Mimosa trees everywhere, so I harvested some from a tree at a building that was being worked on. The construction workers said it should be fine, so i helped Zeph climb the tree and we picked the flowers. I came back later for some bark because that helps to make the medicine feel more grounding. So I am excited for this medicine, it will be ready in early September , just in time for Summhis birthday. The flowers are so beautiful! Another beautiful thing is Sourdough bread , especially I have repaired during the process because I have thought about how much you can really raise the vibration while you're doing all the steps. Using the intention in your mind to put good vibes into your bread can really make it a medicine. Last night I had a crazy dream that there were dinosaurs and chaos and I couldn't find my children. I would find one and then go looking for the other and search and search but to no avail. It was awful, but it just served as a reminder that I am so grateful to have my babies with me. Whenever I get upset and feel alone or overwhelmed with being a parent, I just try to check my mindset and remember "I get to" be their parent , and it helps a lot. We may not be able to be Joyful in every single moment , or to help our kids be happy all the time. It definitely seems like that is our job as parents , as that is the current narrative from society. But society is not taking into account that it would be more ideal for us to prepare them for adult hood. Don't get me wrong, I still like to try to find the silver lining in a situation and to stay positive and whatnot , but maybe my new catch phrase will read: "Be Emotionally Regulated 1st & Joy Will Follow" and if that doesn't work then get a bottle of our Mimosa Emotion Regulator in September ♡